Turns out that bombs kill people; I know this may come as a real shocker given the amount of bathroom graffiti I have seen lately.  Bomb threats every day of the week.  One even went as far as to threaten the world with the Apocalypse on December 21,2012.

Society has learned to deal with bombs, now they are just another part of pop culture and another weapon of disgruntled students and angry citizens.  False bomb threats are useless at getting any action done, however they are great at pissing off the authorities.  Every time one is called in whole areas have to be evacuated and police have to spend tens of thousands of dollars  searching for the bomb that never was.  Its like when we let three pigs into the school, labelling them 1,2, and 4; letting them run wild through the school.  Authorities quickly apprehended them, but were greatly perplexed when they couldn’t find the third pig.  They were pissed, we laughed.

Pig Number Three hid in his superb disguise, nobody guessed his actual identity

Authorities hate bomb threats; so when there was a particularly violent one in Paris today they were forced to take it seriously.  The target was the Eiffel Tower and the cause was clear.  The Lower House of France, it’s at the bottom of the hill, just pasted a controversial bill that raised the French pension age to 62.  On the upside this will help cut the French deficit by seventy-two billion euro, like two hundred billion dollars.  On the down side those poor Frenchmen will have to wait an addition two years before they start receiving pension checks. Sad face.

Such sadness. Such drama. I usually hate mimes, but she's kinda cute.

In response to this some idiot called in a bomb threat.  This is the part where it gets real.  Every time anyone calls in a false bomb threat police forces get a little more lax on their precautions.

If there was one bomb threat every ten years, police would act with extreme energy, searching every alcove with absolute efficiency.  There is a notable chance that the bomb, that is very, very real, will be deactivated and lives and property will be saved.

Suppose there was one a year, police would still take it seriously and they would probably get pretty good at doing their job.  Still though this is where people start swearing over lost sleep

Suppose there was one a month.  Police will hurriedly check their districts, then return to eating donuts.  Now they are up a magnitude of annoyance; someone stole their donut!

The Donut Police Force (DPF) was formed for the protection and equal rights of all donuts and bagels.

Once a week.  Once a day.  Every time something pisses you off.  Cops are eating donuts now, your frantic bomb threat will be dealt with right after they retrieve all the bicycles stolen in the last ten years and file the paperwork.  And that’s fine.  We all live merrily ever after and gorge ourselves on sugary delights, time to bring out the strawberry glazed.

Right?  Oh wait, that was a real bomb, SHI-


The moral of the story people have got to stop being so self-centered; whether they are upset about government policy or are distressed by the increasing numbers of mudbloods populating our school systems.  While the bomb threat will bring about immediate results those changes will be lucky to last longer than six hours.  Than the world returns to normal, twice as annoyed and half as wary.  Should an actual bomb be planted, the authorities won’t even bother sending someone to investigate. People will die if this trend continues; ironically the fools who called in previous false will die right along side those who are calling in real ones.  Deal with life; it’s better than embracing death (seriously, he’s all feathery.)

You have seen him before; where was he in this article.  If you can't, your normal.  If you can post it below, I'll personally congratulate you on being a super geek

This is death. Ain't he a cutie? He's a great kisser.