Australia’s Changing Government: From Monarchy to Republic

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I was reading the newspaper this morning- *everyone cracks up laughing* Well.  I was reading on the internet.  Apparently the sun still never sets on the British Empire, sunny Australia still is ruled by the Queen.  Now their Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, wants to switch it up and make her government a straight up republic.  This move might bring civil war to Australia.

This is startling, in this modern era, for a country on the forefront of technology to have a backwards government, a constitutional monarchy.  This type of government essentially has a king, who is restrained by a handful of laws but can still basically do whatever he wants.

Are those littles Benjamin Franklin's? Weird Fetish.

History has discovered that constitutional monarchy not a good form of government.  It materialized originally in England, when victorious rebel nobles forced King James to sign the Magna Carta.  This historic document put the king under restraints, putting him under the law.

Here many historians place the just seeds of democracy to be sown.

They fail to mention that King James regularly broke the laws specifically stated in the Magna Carta.

Yeah…. Despite the fact there are officially laws to hold in check the monarch, usually they reign unchecked.  This trend continued across the world; the Czars and the Duma, weak and worthless democrats, numerous French governments, and Germany’s Kaiser.

Remember? The guy who started World War One.

I am the best monarch ever; my mustache defies gravity.

Constitutional monarchy’s do not work, democracy and republics work much better.

This brings this article back to Australia, home of the kangaroo.  They have a pretty solid republic system to run their nation and all thirty people in it.  However, it appears they simply forgot that the queen is still at the top.

That’s right, Queen Elizabeth the Second rules Australia.

BRRAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I guess they just forgot to ask her how they should run their country.  Truthfully, she allows them to rule independently with zero oversight.  This freedom has recently led to talks for the Australian government to switch to a republic system, to be completely independent.

The motivation behind this move is clear, the Australians are just looking after themselves.  Only the citizens of a country will look after it, a foreign ruler in a foreign land is a rouge element that might not.  To let this foreigner rule is an outrage and fairly irresponislbe.

However, this move will bring enormous controversy.  Like all nations, those Australians are proud of their heritage.  Being apart of the British Empire. Playing a key role in historic battles. Abducting Aboriginal children from their homes to transport them to camps to be reeducated, in order to breed out the Aboriginal genes.

The Australians apologized for that last one, which lasted till the 1970’s, they now have a National Sorry Day. (http://www.cultureandrecreation.gov.au/articles/indigenous/sorry/)

Way to go guys.

Anyway, people are proud of their identity and the British crown is part of Australian culture.  It is the same as Russians are proud of their military prowess, Japan with their cutting edge technology, and America with it’s drugs.  Changing any aspect of the identity is fought tooth and nail.

Made in America

This will lead to the this pretty trivial concern erupting into a massive tempest of political destruction. Should this movement gain momentum it will break politicians and make new ones.

The recommended position is to support the archaic constitutional monarchy, this stance is patriotic and conservative.  It has been working for the last hundred years, why not the next hundred?  Those attempting to revise the system are sailing in unmapped water, who knows when they’ll hit an unmarked danger and sink to the bottom.

This little publicity stunt of Australia’s will make headlines around the world.

Here is Australia making headlines for the future Republic, and their citizens resisting their every step: https://talktank.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/australia-opposing-freedom-pro-monarchy/

The Fantastic College Expedition: Of Sports and Friends

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Since the beginning of time, and well before the start of creation, I have always done a sport.  I started with soccer and then I switched to baseball.  None of those outdoors sports really suited me; I got bored and distracted.

This might have actually happened to me.

Then along came hockey, which I loved.  I guessed the main reason I liked the icy sport was I just happened to be good at it.  Back in the day I was a giant, dwarfing the various kids around me.  It was so bad that sometimes I was a head and shoulders above the rest

This height advantage translates directly into a major advantage.  Since I was the largest I was the strongest, since I was the strongest I was the best.  I was a champion, I was important.  I liked being notable, I liked being a winner.  I was instrument in winning two or three state championships.

For a while I was on Cloud 9.

Then everyone else started to grow and I did not.  I simply finished growing in the seventh grade; everyone else is still growing to this day.  As I slowly descended into the middle of the pack I found it harder and harder to compete. Never before had I worked on any of my skills, my size had always been the only advantage I had needed.

Arrogance sucks.  Lesson for all you: actually practice.  Even if you still believe you suck, you are actually doing a little bit better than you were doing before your practice session.

By the freshmen year of high school I was on the bottom line on the junior varsity team, had the team needed to cut kids I would have been the first to go.  The fun was dead.   Now I wallowed in self pity as a benchwarmer while those that had actually practiced had fun on the ice rink.

At the end of the year I decided I was not coming back.

It was like this, but colder.

Throughout my sophomore year I had more free time than I knew what to with.  I established new friendships with fellow students at school.  I was happy; surprisingly I realized I hadn’t been happy in a long time.  These students actually liked me for my personality, rather than despising me for my lack of hockey skills.

The drawback to having real friends is that you spend time with them. (Oh, the horror)  More time you spend with your friends the less time you spend on academics.

Friends first took up just as much time as hockey, then significantly more.

The academic flak became pretty brutal; my grades were taking a beating.  There was a point where I missed so much homework that my teacher too me aside and asked if everything was okay.  I said everything was fine, but deep down I knew something would have to change.

The answer came to me earlier this summer, when I needed to retrieve my goggles from the pool club, which was closing in fifteen minutes, and my car had been stolen

Damn the Dalmatians

It was only a ten minute walk away, so I decided just to run over.

Heaving and huffing, I arrived just in time to see the last of the employees drive away after they finished locking up.  Standing in the parking lot, that is where problem that had been plaguing was finally recognized.

I procrastinate way too much.

Never in all my life have I just buckled down and done what needed to be done.  It happened with hockey, now again it is happening with my friends.  I know exactly what I need to do.  With hockey I simply needed to practice.  With my friends I simply need to manage my time better.

The solution is simple, yet innovative.  Go out for Winter Track.

Many of my closest friends run all year round, so they do Winter Track.  There I will be able to hang with them.  Over the summer, now, I will have to run every day, or be absolutely humiliated come winter.  That is all the incentive I need.

With a little luck procrastination will finally be defeat and then the world is MINE.

Check in next time to see how poorly my efforts are going.

The Fantastic College Expedition: Prelude

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College. The Final Frontier.  The last place where students roam free, before they are preened for office work.  The stronghold of independence, and dependence at the same time.  I’m about to arrive at its gates.

Hope they don’t turn me back.

I will be truthful; I am not the best student.  My grades are not what the could be; I have never really been able to pay attention in school.  It is so bad that my parents have had me checked for OCD, ADD, QED, and for an EMP.  I realized back in middle school that I’m much smarter than any teacher I have ever have.

Perhaps that is a little to egotistical, I have met at least one teacher smarter than me.

The greatest wizard of them all. Second only to Albus Severus Potter.

I saw him at the movies, swell guy. Heard he died though. … Bummer.

The previous statements are a partial lie.  I have had some fantastic teachers, that have single handily opened up new worlds of learning.  Others have lead to graphics illustrations of suicidal stick figures. No jokes.

Pete, Age - 33 Minutes, Cause of Death - Boredom

High school has dozens of mandatory requirements that quite frankly are worthless.  I understand taking courses in English and Math.  These both are necessaries in real life.  Illiterate people end up on the streets, those that can’t add are dependent on their cash registers at McDonald’s.  They are my first two priorities when scheduling my classes.

History and Science are sometimes useful, in reality they are just applications of English and Math.  Personally, I find history more interesting (I love all types of stories).  When picking course I know that the Sciences are more practicable.  They both end up on my schedule.

Foreign Languages are simply pointless.  If I wanted to speak like a Spanish I’d move to Mexico.

No further comment; the Foreign Languages always attempt to sneak their way onto my schedule.

There are also miscellaneous requirements, the arts and gym.  Both have redeemable value.  The arts awaken creativity in our youth, a resource that is rapidly drying up.  Gym stops kids wallowing in their own fat.  All good things.  They just take so much time out of my day, they are added to my schedule.

Now I have a schedule full of classes, some I love, some I hate.  Hate is more powerful than love, as proven in the closing episodes of season 8 of 24. I dread going to school.  I’m somewhat miserable their, same as everyone else.  Every year has been like this.

Until now.

Until now, my upcoming junior year.  The minimum criteria has now been met; this completion means I can start dropping stuff. Foreign Languages, Studio Art, and Gym.

They are being replaced by Micro/Marco Economics, Architecture, and Winter Track.

Hopefully school will be more enjoyable and hopefully my grades will improve.  It makes sense, things that are enjoyable, and don’t put you to sleep, often have better results.  This needs to happen in high school this year, in order for me to get into college in two years.

Here is my GPA.

Freshmen – 2.9 (Yikes!)

Sophomore – 3.2 (Still not good enough)

My grades need to skyrocket quickly.  I have my heart set onto getting into a flagship state school or a Little Ivy. I’d shoot for the regular Ivy’s but I simply believe that those universities are no fun.  Too much learning, not enough social interaction, the most important part of life.

To acheive my dreams I will need a 3.5 average.  That means for the next two years I need a 4.0 or better. Yikes!

This blog is dedicated to the chronicling that dream.  It will be updated in real time, in every area pertaining to reaching the gates of college.  The roller coaster ride of school.  Checking out colleges across the country, with detailed reviews of each and every single one.  A splash of romance, a hint of criminal activities.  Smiling all the way.

Overthrowing the Government for Dummies in Five Easy Steps

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So, you wanna overthrow the government?  No problem!  With this easy to follow guide we will have you building your own empire in no time.  All you need to do is stick to the five step plan  Make sure to follow through, otherwise those nasty international agencies will be sure to foil your dastardly schemes.  The very first thing you need to do is…

1. Develop a Devout Following

Like this, but with good aim

This one sounds fairly simple.  Surprisingly, many aspiring world dictators never make it past this point.  You will with our help. It is one thing to rave to the masses, it is quite another to get them to follow you.  There are a wide variety of ways to convert them:

-Make them believe you can help them

-Promise protection from various threats

-Smile really wide

-Write a convincing book

-Get celebrity endorsement, I recommend Lindsay Lohan

At this point do NOT USE VIOLENT FORCE. The police, military, and a single balding mall cop are each independently powerful enough to bring you down.  You have to appear to be a good guy, kind charismatic and having only good intentions.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea to build a school or donate money to an orphanage (stealing it back later won’t be a problem).  Just get a following by any nonviolent means necessary.

After that they next important stepping stone is to…

2. Install Followers in Key Positions

Nobody will suspect

Placement of operatives is very important, the difference between glorious victory and humiliating defeat.  When the time comes to overthrow the government they will play a critical role.  Before your uprising they will be surreptitious, drawing no attention to themselves, attaining prominent positions.  Here are some suggestions –

– State Governor

– Corporation Manager

– Football Mascot

– Military General

– Congressman

– Guest Star on The View

– Presidential Aide

– Morgan Freeman

When you call upon them they will each be able to donate their forces to aid your rise to power.  Those in the government will legitimize your operations, allowing you to stage your takeover unmolested.  The military and corporate leaders can provide you with an arsenal varying from state of the art weaponry to detailed defense schematics.  The mascot can encourage you. Morgan Freeman can be Morgan Freeman.

Once everyone is in their positions, onwards to…

3. Create a Political Disaster

I wonder if that will get rid of the cockroaches in my apartment

The beginning of the end, it is now time to strike.  You will need to plan to villainous attack on the current government; the assasult must be specifically designed to completely demoralize them.  The only good faces are sad faces. This political disaster will destabilize the current government, shaming the officials and proving they are inept.  Here are some suggestions-

– Evidence of War Crimes becoming public

– Unexplained Nuclear Attack/s

– Another Rocky Movie

– Exposing Corrupt Politicians

– ANOTHER ROCKY MOVIE

This blow must be swift and certain, their can be no hesitation.  The people will lose faith in the current government; the foolish officials allowed the disaster to happen, a new reign is needed.  Here your followers step in, marshaling millions of followers to your cause.  The followers will declare you a desperately needed saint in these belligerent times, someone who should take the reins of power.

All you need to do is ride the wave, and…

4. Gain Control

Your the kid in the blue shirt, smiles, and now you have attained your goal.

This is the climax of your dastardly plan.  The failing government is in shambles and the people are calling for you to take power.  If you timed your political disaster well you can line up the catastrophe with the elections.  You and more of your followers can be civilly elected into power.

Another route that can be taken is a hostile takeover, if you are trying this be sure to have the majority of the military on your side.  It will be bloody and gruesome, but this  route can also work.  Depending on the outcome of the battles it might even earn you more public support.

Now you have a wide variety of options to choose from for your new government-

– Fascist Dictatorship

– Anarchy, though it is not much of a government

– Monarchy

– (Insert your name here)-ism

-Democracy (Ha!)

Setting up the government should take the highest priority, after the YOU’RE THE KING Party.  Make sure to rule however you want, if you dislike a system, remove it.  Sure some people will resist, they just hate change.  Here comes possibly the most important step…

5. Stay Ahead of the Competition (By Eliminating It)

Follow out Founding Father's Example, Get a Dinosaur

Anyone who resists needs to be taken care of one way or another.  Otherwise they might try to other throw your brand new and shiny government (the nerve of some people).  There are a few possibility when it comes to eliminating these threats-

– Trapdoor and a Shark Tank

– Secret Police

– Massive Bribes

-Shark Operatives of the Secret Police, giving out bribes through trapdoors

Now you are all alone at the top, all opponents defeated.  Doesn’t it feel GREAT.  The country is yours, now onwards to the whole wide world.  After a cup of coffee and a celebratory parade or two.  Smiles.

Anybots: The First of the Automaton Workers That’s Replacing You

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The beginning of the end is white and shiny.

Here are the true origins of Skynet

It appears to be a Segway + white plastic + creepy metal eyes.  Inside its frame rests advanced computing technology and an internet link.  This is the QB Robot, brought to you from Anybots.

Oh, and that little screen on the front, that is your boss.

Who is halfway around the world.

In the future, or so Anybots Prophesy predicts, each and every company will have dozens of the QBRobots, stationed at each of their company’s locations.  Whenever something goes wrong, and the supervisor isn’t on site, they travel to it via QB Robot.

With built in camera and a vocal system, it’s like you boss is right there.  SO if he can be “right there” without even being on the premise, why would he show up to work?

So the bosses will be the first to leave, telecommunicating from home or wherever they are.  You will be resentful that you still have to show up, but whatever, work is hell anyway.  That is until you get a QB Robot of your own.

You stop showing up, instead telecommunicating.  Offices will be filled with bots, nobody will go to work.  Now the droids have the offices and the workspace.

The grand bosses, the executives who own the company’s, will look down on their metal empires, and they will question why they even have puny little men control such fearsome machines.  Workers will be cut out of the loop all together.  Robots run the show.

QB Robot = Skynet

Enough said

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