Myself and a friend enjoy going on a site called Chatroulette (  All you need is a video camera and you are all set; the site randomly connects you with people from around the world. It is pretty cool, I have talked with people from London to LA.

However to find these people I needed to swim through a sea of … pythons.

That has always been the main drawback.  Nobody wants to see that, nobody.  The offenders have driven away valuable viewers away from the site.  However, today I noticed something peculiar on the homepage.

This actually startled me; a cure to the pandemic that has threatened the site? Perhaps there is hope, perhaps Chatroulette will become clean and a major social hub.

Maybe I will be officially recognized as King of the Flying Monkeys (damn the Wicked Witch of the West; she stole my minions)

After analyzing various articles concerning the intentions of Chatroulette I deemed the site is doomed, but valiant.  Essentially they intend, in the future through updated software, to trace anyone who breaks International Law and alert local authorities to deal with the snake problem.  On paper this sounds great, in real life it will never work.

Cracks begin to emerge at the very start of the plan.

The first crucial step is to identify offenders, there are two major ways to do this, and both cost money.  One possible method is to install a button that, when pressed, will tell staff members at Chatroulette to check out an offending screen.  The other way is to get viewers to rate the people they view, people who get too poor ratings get looked over by Chatroulette employees.

The problem with both of these is they both need employees, employees cost an absurd amount of money.  Either way they will need a staff of ten to twenty; either way it is doubtful Chatroulette will be able to support such a large number.  They simply lack the capital. Smaller numbers of employees will be ineffective of stemming tide of offenders.

Hopefully they will figure that out (perhaps a program specialized in identifying pythons of various sizes?) the next step, locating these criminals in real life, is easier.

The tracing part is pretty foolproof; a five hundred or so determined hackers will easily be able to conceal their locations, twenty thousand others will be located precisely.  The majority will be eliminated, that is all anyone can ask for.  Piece of pie.

Contacting the authorities should be easy, provided they are not too busy eating donuts.  Actually having the police to actually arrest the offenders is a completely different issue.

Getting the initiative to track down the criminals is questionable.  Sure, the cops want to take down these dastardly Snakemen.  But when the department is swamped homicides take a slightly high priority.  Other police departments might simply disregard the requests, casting them off as trivial and unimportant. Once again, you have got to have your priorities; donuts come first.

Finding the criminals will also be difficult despite have pin point their location.  Once a computer goes off Chatroulette they have no way to track it.  With the invention of laptops criminals can hide indefinitely in places like college dorms and crowded apartments.  Wild Life officers will never have a chance to ensnare the loose snakes.

The easy part will be identifying the offender; Chatroulette snaps a screenshot, police compare to the owner of the computer and other people who use it.  Simple.

Overall this sounds like a sound plan and it certainly will have repercussions.  The percentage of offenders will diminish drastically, perhaps great numbers will flee instead of risking being caught.  However there will always be a determined python network, using Python code to hide the location of their snakes.  They will never be conquered, they have all the odds stacked in their favor.

This plan needs to be thoroughly reformed, ironing out the kinks and filling in the cracks.  Then perhaps Chatroulette might have a shot.  Till then, Snake City.   Sad Face.